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Sandwiched MothersWednesday, May 7, 2025
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You’re busy working from home watching the clock, mentally calculating whether you have enough time to check in on your mother, pick up some groceries, and cook dinner for your teenager. . . or will you be ordering pizza yet again tonight?
If this scene feels at all familiar to you, then you’re likely one of the 2 million Canadians who fit into the infamous “sandwich generation”. According to Statistics Canada, 28% of all caregivers in Canada are part of the sandwich generation. The sandwich generation generally applies to those in their late 30’s to early 60’s who are simultaneously caring for their ageing parents as well as their growing children.
Advances in healthcare are allowing people to live longer lives, though not necessarily healthier lives. The end of one’s life may include more intensive care, further demanding the time and energy of the sandwich generation who is caught between their parents and children. The increased life expectancy has led to another possibility—the club sandwich generation. The club sandwich refers to people who are assisting their ageing parents, while also being involved in their children’s, and grandchildren’s lives.
Four living generations is no longer a rare scenario.
Add to this the pressures of working from home, parenting, homeschooling, marriage, personal life, and personal health—no wonder there is concern about the sandwich generation suffering burn-out! Often people feel that they should be able to manage all of the simultaneous caregiving because previous generations managed to do so. In reality, previous generations did not experience the sandwich generation phenomenon to the same degree.
Recognizing the unique challenges faced by today’s sandwich generation - especially in such unique times, will help to alleviate guilt and replace the sense of “I should be able to do this” with “where can I find meaningful assistance?". Acknowledging that you cannot do it all alone and that you deserve assistance is the first step. There are services available to help so that you don't have to this all alone!
Caring for your own health and well-being is crucial!
Managing to eat healthy meals, and getting exercise needs to be a personal priority, not just something to do if you have time left over—because there is never time left over. If you are feeling completely stressed and burned out, you are not in the best condition to care for loved ones.
Instead, think about accepting homecare assistance so that you are able to lead a balanced lifestyle that cares for you too! Put support systems in place to assist you in caring for your parents and grandparents. A loving companion aide might be just the solution to support your parents while caring for your health at the same time.
With support systems set in place, you can avoid burn out, and enjoy your free time for some personal self-care or a well-needed vacation.
Contact us today for more information! |
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Are you doing everything for your elderly parents?Wednesday, April 30, 2025
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Managing your own household is already a full-time job. Add to that the responsibility of overseeing your parents' household, and now your in-laws need some help too. It's no wonder you feel stretched too thin. As your parents' needs continue to increase, you find yourself in a difficult position: you need homecare support for them, but they refuse to even consider it.
Your father insists he "doesn't need a babysitter," and your mother claims she can "do everything just fine myself." What she really means is that you are doing everything just fine for them. Your parents believe they are managing well because you are filling in all the gaps. They don't realize the extent of your efforts; they simply benefit from the fact that everything gets done.
For years, you've respected your parents' wishes, supporting them in their decisions and doing your best to help. They keep saying they don't want or need any help, and you've tried to honor that. However, the reality is that they do need help, and they are already receiving it—from you. The burden has become more than you can manage on your own, and it's time to acknowledge that you can no longer provide all the assistance they need. This isn't about failing to respect their decisions; it's about making a necessary choice for your own health and wellness.
It's time to have an honest conversation with your parents. Explain what you are able to do and outline the tasks that are becoming too much. Empower them to make decisions that best suit their needs by presenting options to fill the remaining gaps. For example, you might be willing to do the weekly grocery shopping and visit with your parents after putting everything away, but cooking dinner for them every day is no longer feasible.
Here are some meal options to consider:
Outline the pros and cons of each option above and how they would fit into your parents' lifestyle. Stepping back and acknowledging your own needs doesn't take away your parents' ability to make their own decisions. It simply removes one option from the list—the option of you cooking meals daily.
As long as you continue to be the primary option, your parents won't seriously consider any other alternatives. Clearly articulate what you can and cannot do, and guide your parents through the decision-making process to address the remaining gaps. Setting boundaries for your well-being is important.
Homecare can address many of these gaps, providing the individualized attention and assistance your parents are accustomed to receiving. Homecare isn't just about the senior client; it's also about alleviating the burden on family members who have been doing far more than is sustainable. A wonderful caregiver—or team of caregivers—can take care of your parents' to-do list, ensuring that the responsibility doesn't all fall on your shoulders. |
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Lissette Mairena Wong 34 May 12, 2025 |
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Chloe Hamilton 117 May 7, 2025 |
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Avery Hamilton 3 June 7, 2018 |
