Aged to Perfection

Are you hosting any holiday gatherings where you have invited elderly relatives who have health conditions? You have probably already thought about accessibility accommodations such as helping them into your home and ensuring they have access to a bathroom. Those elements are very important and should not be overlooked. 

Another element that should not be overlooked is how to make the overall

environment more manageable for your elderly loved ones, especially when there are health conditions to consider.

• If someone has a chronic illness such as CHF or COPD, they may fatigue very quickly and need an opportunity to rest. 
• If someone has edema in their feet or legs (swelling) they may need a chance to sit with their legs elevated. 
• A stroke survivor may find the environment overstimulating and may need relief.
• Someone with dementia may need some peace and quiet and a break from the noisy environment. 
• Hearing aids may blur the sounds into a din so that individual voices are difficult to discern, and someone with hearing loss may need an auditory break.

To help facilitate these needs and more, you can create a Quiet Zone for your holiday gathering.

Part of the beauty of a Quiet Zone is that it can meet the needs of so many different health conditions. It is one solution that actually meets numerous needs simultaneously. It may even be appealing to younger family members too!

A Quiet Zone is a space dedicated to quieter interaction and less stimulation.  Ideally, the Quiet Zone would be a separate room, but if that’s not possible, then a nook or area can be allocated as the Quiet Zone.

The Quiet Zone should be less stimulating than the environment of the main event.  If there are Christmas carols blasting on repeat in the dining room, the Quiet Zone does not have any music. If the Christmas tree in the living room has blinking lights and a miniature train set zooming past, the Quiet Room has steady, ambient lighting that isn’t distracting.

While the main event likely includes loud chatter, many people speaking at once, laughing, and loud voices to be heard over the din, the Quiet Zone is where people can have one-on-one conversations that can be more easily heard and understood.  For relatives of any age, the chance to step away from the noise and engage in a more in-depth one-on-one conversation might be a welcome relief. 

Someone who tires easily in a crowded room of people might appreciate the relief of settling into the Quiet Room.  Other guests can then take turns, one at a time, visiting within the Quiet Room.  This way, everyone is supported to be part of the family gathering, but they can participate in a way that matches their individual needs. Having a space to retreat may allow people to reserve their physical and mental energy to join the group for dinner. 

The Quiet Room makes it possible to have a quick cat-nap if needed.  Giving the brain an extra boost of sleep can make the difference between enjoying the rest of the event, and just feeling overwhelmed and overstimulated. Family members who are stroke survivors or who have dementia will particularly appreciate the opportunity to have a power nap. 

When the brain has been impacted by stroke or dementia, part of the brain may not be working the way it once did. The remaining parts of the brain are functioning on overdrive to compensate for the losses. Those over-active brain areas tire easily and benefit enormously from rest. A Quiet Room creates the space and permission to invite such guests to rest their brains when they need it most.

This holiday season, consider creating a Quiet Room for large family gatherings.  The Quiet Room will be a retreat space to ensure that all your guests find the event manageable and can enjoy it fully.

You can imagine that someone living in a nursing home wants a regular visitor, but can you think of reasons why their families also benefit?

Here are top 5 reasons that families need a caregiver for their parent in long-term care:

1. To Supplement Family Visits

You know how important it is for your father to have a regular visitor, but you just can’t keep doing it all yourself.  You can’t manage your own household and your career while also being at the long-term care home daily.  He thrives with one-on-one support, but it can’t be you every day.

Warm Embrace caregivers supplement family visits.  We never replace family, but we can provide support when a family cannot be present. We ensure that your loved one has a wonderful day and is in better spirits so you don’t feel guilty about not visiting.

2. Family dynamics

Let’s be honest—your family wasn’t exactly the Brady Bunch (don’t worry, neither was mine!).  Deep down, you love your parents and your siblings, but loving someone doesn’t mean you get along well! Decades of history aren't erased just because parents become elderly and require more care.  Sometimes, those long-standing family issues become even more emphasized when the patriarch or matriarch becomes ill.

You want the best for your parent, and you believe regular visits would benefit your father.  Truth be told, you’re not the best person to be doing the visiting.  It may not be the most beneficial for your father, and it definitely won’t be good for you.  The kindest thing you can do is provide a visitor who can appreciate your father unconditionally—no strings attached, no history, no family dynamics.

3. Families Spread out Geographically

Today’s families are spread across the country and even across the globe!  It is not uncommon to have siblings living in different time zones and various countries.  With families at a distance, it can be difficult to visit your parent in a nursing home regularly.  A local caregiver can provide the tender, loving care that you wish you could provide, if only you lived closer.

Maybe your siblings visit often and you feel bad that you’re not able to contribute.  You can send a substitute on your behalf! Of course, we can’t fill your shoes, but we can provide a visit that alleviates your siblings from feeling like everything has been left up to them.

4. Interrupting Patterns

This fits closely with family dynamics, but it is slightly different.  Family dynamics are what happens between people; interrupting patterns has more to do with your parent’s personal pattern.  Your parent does not yet have a pattern with us, so we have the chance to have a completely fresh start.

Does your mother have a pattern of complaining every time she sees you?  We hear this all the time.  Your mother complains endlessly to you, but the nurses tell you that she is a sweetheart to deal with. How is it that she can seem like two different people?  Your mother may have an ingrained pattern; when she is with you, she complains about anything and everything.

We can’t promise to change your mother’s pattern. What we can do is interrupt that pattern by starting from scratch. Our visits can remain focused on the positive which will keep her in better spirits and prevent you from feeling frustrated over constantly negative visits.

5. Extended family

Your great-aunt listed you as her Power of Attorney and she’s now been moved into a long-term care home.  You visit when you can, but all she talks about is how lonely she is and how she wishes you would visit every day.  Your own family and career already keep you busy and now your own parents are starting to need some assistance. . . there’s just no way you can visit your great-aunt as regularly as she’d like.

Having a caregiver visit regularly is the perfect solution for those who do not have a close family.  We become their proxy family members.  We can visit daily and provide the companionship and stimulation that they are seeking—while alleviating you of the guilt that you can’t visit more often.

Remember—the caregiver who is visiting your parent may be enlisted as much for your sake as for your parent’s sake, and that is perfectly okay. We would be honoured to visit your loved one in Long-term Care!