Aged to Perfection

Humans are wired to be busy, to be productive, to be doing something.  Even when we are intentionally taking a break, we have to consciously remind ourselves to relax and not default to our busy-mode. 

This drive and desire to be productive is deeply ingrained, and for people who have heeded the productivity call their entire lives, it is a well-worn feedback loop. They feel the need to be productive, so they remain constantly busy, and the fruits of their labour are the visible reward for being constantly busy.

What happens when dementia interrupts that feedback loop?

When someone’s dementia has progressed, he has a harder time remembering how to do activities he did his entire life.  George, a gentleman who enjoyed woodworking and fixing things around the house may no longer understand how to use his tools.  He gets started on a task, and partway through forgets what he was doing, leaving a wake of unfinished projects behind him.

His desire to continually work on things around the house does not go away.  His drive for productivity and doing something meaningful and important will far outlast his ability to operate his tools. George was never one to sit and relax, instead, he was always working away on something, and that desire can carry on even as his dementia progresses.

The fact that George can no longer successfully fix broken household items will not prevent him from trying to do so. In fact, he may be inclined to ‘fix’ items that he is certain are ‘broken’ because he’s now having trouble operating household appliances.  Frustrated relatives might try to insist “just sit down and relax!” but since that was never in George’s nature, it’s unlikely he’ll be settled for long. George’s brain is sending him the signal to be productive. He has a strong sense that he should be doing something, he’s just not sure what that something is.

When George cannot easily find a task that meets his need to be productive, he will create one. Dementia has interfered with his ability to follow through with all the tasks he previously did. If the signals in his brain are scrambled, the output of his activities may also be scrambled.  He is trying his best to ‘fix’ the ‘broken’ wastebasket and has dumped its entire contents on the floor.  To an exhausted family member, this is just one more dementia behaviour that doesn’t make any sense and has now created a mess to be cleaned up.

What George needs are activities that he can manage.  Dementia has impacted his ability to do the same activities in the same way he did them 20 years ago, but it has not taken away his ability to do all activities. What George needs is someone who can customize familiar activities to match his current ability level. He needs someone else to break down an activity into individual tasks, and do only one small task at a time. George is still capable of doing many things. He needs direction and he needs cueing to successfully manage a sequence of complex activities.

George is bored. And when he is bored, his brain will create an activity to do. Even if the activity doesn’t make sense to someone else’s brain, even if the activity creates a mess or breaks something, or causes a disturbance, his brain is desperate for activity and stimulation. In the lack of meaningful stimulation, the brain will create its own entertainment.

The underlying cause of many so-called dementia behaviours is boredom.

When someone with dementia is occupied with meaningful activities that create a sense of purpose and productivity, their ‘behaviours’ are often drastically reduced. Their need to be productive is met and they feel satisfied.

Providing meaningful activities for someone with dementia is one of the most effective ways to reduce undesired behaviours.  It does not require medication changes and has no side effects.  However, it can be incredibly time-consuming and does require an enormous amount of patience.  Time and patience are two things that family caregivers often have in short supply—they’ve used up both!

Professional caregivers can fill the gap. Professional caregivers can take the abundant time and patience required to keep people like George engaged in meaningful activities. Caregivers help clients with dementia to connect to their passions and interests by making activities accessible.  Caregivers modify activities to match their client’s ability level—that might be fluctuating by the day or by the hour—to ensure that activities are never too difficult or too easy and boring.  

When people are enjoying hobbies that they love, and they are not frustrated or bored, their so-called behaviours are drastically reduced.  What passions might we re-inspire in your loved one, to spark their desire for meaningful engagement and productivity? 

In our hustle and bustle culture, stress and burnout are intertwined and seem to be part of everyday work life. Most people don't recognize that there is a difference between stress and burnout. It's common to say "I'm stressed out" or "I'm exhausted" after another long day but what if you're teetering towards burnout?

What is burnout?

Stress is inevitable and part of everyday life but prolonged and constant stress leading to "a state of emotional, physical, and mental exhaustion" is burnout. Indicators of burnout are if you're feeling an increase of helplessness, resentfulness, cynicism, pessimism, and reduction in productivity. The feeling of "you have nothing else to give" is when you're entering burnout territory.

Recognize the signs before you burnout

The reality is burnout spills over to every aspect of your life - work, home, and social life. So, it's best to recognize the signs of potential burnout before you're burnt out.

1. You're feeling as though "every day is a bad day."

Your perspective is shifting slowly and your definition of a "bad day" is changing. For instance, before you found indoor rock climbing exciting and a healthy challenge but now you describe it as difficult and overwhelming. When you're burnt out, negative emotions and thoughts increase and they begin to overshadow positive ones.

2. You're exhausted all the time

You're sleeping in on the weekends but you still can't shake off your exhaustion. No matter how much you sleep in you wake up feeling tired! If that's you, you could be experiencing emotional exhaustion - "the state of feeling emotionally worn out and drained." Feeling emotionally exhausted can lead to a lack of motivation, irritability, physical fatigue, and lack of sleep.

3. You're vulnerable to getting sick

You find yourself frequently sick with a head cold and you can't seem to recover fast enough. Before you'd have a cold for only two days but now it takes you a week to get over it. A common symptom of burnout is physical illnesses, like headaches, colds, and flu because prolonged stress has shown to lower immunity.

4. Your social life has changed

You love being around people but lately, you're isolating yourself from your friends and taking a little longer to respond to text messages/emails.  After a busy day of work, all you want to do is be alone and sleep so the last thought on your mind is hanging out with a friend. You're slowly changing and what you found exciting and life-giving is now draining and exhausting. However, you're feeling alone, forgotten, and unappreciated.

Burnout and stress are similar in symptoms but the major indicator of burnout is that you're feeling detached and depressed. If you're feeling burnt out, you're not alone. Reach out to a trusted friend or family member and express to them how you've been feeling. Your openness doesn't make you a burden - it makes you human. If you're a family caregiver and need support, you're not alone, contact us and we'll be there for you.

Resources:

Job burnout: How to spot it and take action

Burnout Prevention and Treatment

Emotional Exhaustion: What It Is and How to Treat It