Aged to Perfection

In a few months, your parents will be celebrating their 62nd wedding anniversary. After more than six decades together, they’re practically inseparable. Their staunch European background has rendered them rather emotionally reserved, but of course, they love each other in their own quiet way.

Your mother was the queen of the domestic domain, cooking, cleaning, raising children, and managing the household. Your father worked hard to provide for the family and took care of the yard, cars, and handyman jobs. His way of demonstrating love to his family was to work hard and provide well. These roles worked well for your parents through decades of marriage and countless life challenges.

Facing New Challenges

But now your mother has Parkinson’s Disease. It has been progressing over the past few years, and what started as a minor tremor in her left arm has now become debilitating. She struggles with tasks that require dexterity because her tremor is so pronounced. Her walking gait is halting and unsteady, and she has fallen numerous times. She has trouble keeping track of the medications she is supposed to be taking every four hours to help manage her symptoms. Basic daily tasks such as getting dressed are now proving to be a challenge. More complex tasks such as cooking or baking are pretty much out of the question.

Your father dearly loves your mother, but he is entirely ill-equipped to provide the help that she needs. He proudly declares that he can’t even boil water; he has never cooked a day in his life. He has been depending on ordering takeout food, but your parents are already tired of fast food. When it comes to helping your mother get dressed, he is flummoxed by her undergarments and embarrassed about helping her to dress. His no-nonsense, high-efficiency mentality made him an excellent businessman, but those same traits are not helpful when trying to assist his wife in getting dressed. It’s not a stellar start to their day when getting dressed becomes a major mission and sets the tone for the day.

Although your parents insist that they’ve gotten this far by weathering life’s storms together, it’s time for some expert assistance. While your father has many great talents and skills, providing personal care and household assistance are not his specialties. Your mother deserves the care and attention that a trained caregiver can provide.

Benefits of Professional Care

A professional caregiver can support your mother's physical needs and set her up for success each day. This includes making the morning routine feel like daily pampering instead of a chore. A caregiver can spend time doing her hair and makeup and helping her select her outfit and jewelry for the day so she can maintain the poised appearance she always prided herself on.

Your father wants this outcome for your mother—he wants her to feel well each day, to look her best, take pride in her appearance, and start each day strong. He may just need help recognizing that he isn’t the best one to provide this support. His heart is in the right place, but he has limited life experience in this department, and for your mother’s sake, it is worth it to enlist a professional who can make an enormous difference.

It is okay to acknowledge that everyone has different skills, strengths, and life experiences. Your father has many valuable skills that made him an excellent businessman. He continues to use those skills to manage household finances and monitor their stock portfolio. But he is ill-equipped to manage the nuances that come with personal care and supporting his wife through her Parkinson’s journey.

Enlisting additional support does not mean that he does not love his wife sufficiently to help her; it means he loves her enough to ensure that she has the professional and experienced care that she deserves.

Let your father play to his strengths and let us demonstrate our caregiving strengths to support your mother in her journey.

Are you experiencing a case of cabin fever? Don’t be discouraged and let the cabin fever get to you—instead, speed up spring!

One of the best ways to bring spring to you is to start your gardening early—indoors! Rather than waiting on mother nature to cooperate for a display of spring colours, get things started yourself by forcing bulbs.

Indoor gardening is a very accessible way to garden. There is no need to bend over or kneel on the hard ground. Bulbs require very little maintenance or effort. Indoor gardening is a great way to connect with an elderly loved one’s passion and hobby without being overwhelming or too physically demanding. It can also be a great intergenerational activity, drawing children and grandparents—or even great grandparents—together over a common task.

Forcing bulbs indoors mimic the outdoor environment that causes a bulb to grow and bloom. Unlike large, potted house plants, bulbs do not need big pots. A small, shallow dish is sufficient. Many bulbs are easily forced using only water and pebbles, rather than soil, resulting in much easier clean up when gardening indoors. It is also more fun to watch the roots develop and see the bulb change as it grows. New growth development is exciting to see—at any age!

Using your shallow container, fill it half full of pebbles or marbles, then place the bulbs on top of the pebble layer. Gently fill the rest of the container with pebbles or marbles to secure the bulbs in place, but do not completely bury the bulbs. Put enough water in the dish so that the water touches the bottom of the bulb, but do not submerge the bulb in water or it will begin to rot.

The step that is most often overlooked when forcing bulbs is the chilling step. Your freshly “planted” bulbs need to be chilled in a cellar or in the fridge to mimic the winter season. Some bulbs only need a few days of chilling, and others need a much more extended chilling period of several weeks. Be sure to check the specifications on the bulbs that you purchase.

NOTE: Please do NOT store bulbs in an elderly person’s fridge. If that person has dementia or mild cognitive impairment, the bulbs (or pebbles) could be mistaken for other produce. Likewise, if your loved one has impaired vision, the bulbs could appear similar to onions. Senses such as taste and smell become dulled for many people as they age; the smell or bitter taste that might alert you to food being harmful may not alert an elderly loved one.

When roots begin to show you will know that your bulbs are ready to begin their growth cycle and it is time to remove them from the chilling stage. With roots now showing, your bulbs are ready to be moved into warmth and sunlight. You need to introduce them to sunlight slowly, just the way that the spring sunlight is soft at first and then gradually gets warmer. Place your bulbs in a cooler area of your home, away from direct sunlight. When your plants begin to grow and the stems take on a healthy green colour, then it is time to move them to a sunny windowsill to watch the beauty unfold!

In theory, any bulb can be forced to grow indoors, but some varieties are easier to force than others. Paperwhite narcissus grows well indoors and does not require a very long chilling period. They grow well in water and pebbles and are quite fragrant. Amaryllis are very easy to force and the blooms are giant and colourful. They grow so quickly that you can see growth daily.

The warmer the environment, the faster the amaryllis will grow. Once it blooms, it is best to move the plant to a cooler, shaded area for the blooms to last longer, as they can remain for up to a month.

Hyacinth and crocus can also be forced and take eight to ten weeks to grow. Although tulips are a favourite spring bloom, they are probably best enjoyed out in the garden as they can be trickier to force and require a long chilling period of sixteen weeks.

Enjoy your head start on spring by forcing your favourite bulbs indoors, and use this easy, timeless, and ageless activity to connect various members of your family. You will have spring beauty unfolding in your own living room—no matter how much snow remains on the ground outside!