You know your mother needs assistance, but she refuses to even consider it.  She insists that she doesn’t want to lose her independence. You’re frustrated because you’re trying to be proactive and prevent a crisis, but your mother won’t hear of it.

 

Be reassured!  You are not alone! 

 

Your mother is not the first senior to bristle at the notion of receiving help.  In fact, most of our homecare clients here at Warm Embrace started out exactly like your mother—Estelle sure did.  Estelle started out adamantly insisting that she didn’t need or want any help at all.

 

I can hardly blame Estelle for resisting help.  Very few people are quick to put up their hand and say “yes, I need help”—and that is true at any age.  Our North American culture places a high value on independence, and many people tend to define that as “doing everything myself.”

 

Estelle rejected homecare because she was afraid that if she can’t do it all herself, then she won’t be considered independent.  In her mind, that would mean being one step away from a dreaded nursing home.

 

We define independence differently. 

 

We believe that independence doesn’t mean that you do it all yourself; instead, independence means that you get to choose how everything is done.  Independence means that you’re the boss.  You make your own decisions.  It doesn’t mean you physically do everything; it means you have control in how it is done.

 

 

Homecare doesn’t take away a senior’s independence. In fact, it often does the opposite.  It often grants senior more independence. 

 

Estelle did not lose her independence, and that’s probably why she now adores her two favourite caregivers. Estelle did not lose anything; she gained. 

 

Estelle benefited from:

  • Gaining two new best friends
  • Enjoying stimulating conversation
  • Eating healthy meals and having more energy
  • Re-establishing her social connections because her caregivers can drive her to events
  • More physical activity by keeping up with her caregivers—instead of just sitting watching TV
  • Improved sleeping patterns since she’s no longer napping all day out of boredom

Your mother could benefit from homecare just as much as Estelle.  Your mother can go from just barely surviving to actually thrive.

 

What NOT to do

When you mention the idea of homecare or introducing a caregiver, don’t highlight what your mother can’t do.  Don’t point out all the activities she’s no longer managing, even though it may seem obvious and glaring to you.

 

Do NOT point out that:

  • She has lost her licence and no longer drives
  • The only healthy meals she eats are the leftovers you bring
  • She hasn’t been to a social event in six months
  • Her housekeeping standards are slipping

What to do

Highlight all of the gains your mother will benefit from when she has a wonderful new caregiver in her life. Point out how her life will be even better.

 

DO point out that:

  • She can now go anywhere she likes without worrying about calling a cab
  • She can go to social events and visit friends she hasn’t seen lately
  • Her caregiver will be a new friend with whom to play scrabble
  • She will enjoy having a visitor in the lonely winter months when she doesn’t usually get out
  • Even when you’re out of town, she’ll still have a consistent visitor
  • She will be the boss and SHE gets to decide what she does, together with her caregiver

When seniors see that they are not giving anything up, they are not losing anything, they are more receptive.  Seniors are often keen to accept new friends and live life more fully.

 

Help your mother to see all that she stands to gain, and the conversation may be easier.  We’ve helped countless families through the exact same struggle you’re experiencing, and we can make suggestions specific to your situation.  Call us for more ideas!

 

A senior benefits from homecare by suddenly eating better meals and that senior now has more energy to independently manage more tasks. Another senior might benefit from our accompanied transportation and now that senior can attend all the activities and functions she once enjoyed.  She is regaining her life back; she is not losing independence!

 

When seniors recognize what they can gain from homecare, they are more receptive.  They are gaining a new friend who will ensure that they enjoy each day and live it to the fullest. 

 

The good news is, we managed to win them over and now they are clients who absoultely adore their caregivers and can hardly imagine life without Warm Embrace.

add a comment
Subscribe to this Blog Like on Facebook Tweet this! Share on LinkedIn

5 Ways to Celebrate Mother's Day

The best part about May is that we get to acknowledge the wonderful women in our lives; our mothers and other significant women who we otherwise might take for granted. And, the best way to celebrate these amazing women is to spend the day with them! If you haven't made plans yet, don't worry, it's not too late.

 

Here are 5 ways you can celebrate Mother's Day this year.

 

 

1. Buy your mom flowers

You can't go wrong with flowers! You can buy a lovely bouquet of spring flowers or even a potted plant for your mom. Make sure to write a heartfelt card to make it even more special! If flowers aren't her thing, you can buy her seeds and get started on planting a vegetable garden.

 

2. Bake or cook your mom's favourite dish

Encourage your mom to take a break from cooking on Mother's Day by cooking her favourite dish. If you aren't much of a cook that is okay! Why not support a local restaurant or business? You can put in the order for your mom and ask them to deliver the dish directly to your mom. It's the perfect day to spoil your mom!

 

3. Make a homemade gift

Remember that quilt or sewing project that you never quite finished? Or that scrapbook that needs some final stickers? This is the perfect time to finish it up for your mom! Get your kids or grandkids involved by having them make homemade drawings or cards.

 

4. Plan a fun creative surprise

Get your whole family involved and plan a surprise for your mom. If you’re a musical family, surprise her with live music and song. If you’re poetic and theatrical, write her a heartfelt poem and/or perform a play just for her. If you're crafty, make some fun posters or banners to brighten up your mom's day. I am sure your mom will appreciate your effort and love!

 

5. Tea time on a video call

If your mom is tech-savvy and lives out of town, schedule a video call to have a special tea time chat. Take this time to reconnect with your mom by reminiscing on childhood memories and on happy lighthearted memories. Most importantly don't forget to tell her how much you love her and appreciate her! Words of kindness and appreciation can go a long way!

 

Mothers are incredible and deserve to be celebrated all year round, but especially in May, at Mother’s Day. Comment below and share with us how you're going to celebrate your mom. We hope you have a lovely Mother's Day!

 

Happy Mother’s Day to all of the special mothers, grandmothers, and great grandmothers out there!

add a comment
Subscribe to this Blog Like on Facebook Tweet this! Share on LinkedIn

Contributors

Blog Contributor Portrait
Chloe Hamilton
111
June 29, 2022
show Chloe's posts
Blog Contributor Portrait
Lissette Mairena Wong
20
May 5, 2022
show Lissette's posts
Blog Contributor Portrait
Avery Hamilton
5
November 19, 2020
show Avery's posts

Latest Posts

Show All Recent Posts

Archive

Tags

Everything Dementia Long Term Care Homecare Retirement Home Alzheimer's Parkinson's Aging Elder Abuse Holiday Warm Stories Healthy Living Health Care Events Companionship Sandwich Generation Respite Care Independence Staying in your own home Parents Refusing Help Activities